Standing up for yourself

I don't know what else to do. The last couple of weeks, we've had to sign a few incident reports at daycare. By we, I mean DH, because he has been doing the pickup in the afternoon. 

In each case, DD has been on the receiving end of something, whether it be a bite, scratch or similar. But I'm not understanding why she is putting up with this sort of thing.

By no means is she a complete angel. However, I have seen her give as good as she gets When she is pushed around. You see, on Saturday might we had a function where DD interacted with a girl of a similar age. This time girl was quite rough and tumble due to having two older brothers. When DD was playing with an old jukebox, this other child shoved her out of the way and DD pushed her back. Not seeing the other child do the first shove, I gently reminded DD to play nice. My mother in law pointed out what was happening, and five minutes later, the other child comes up to DD out of the blue and does it again, with DD responding the same.

So I don't understand why she isn't standing her ground at daycare. Don't get me wrong, I am happy she isn't the one instigating the events, but I just don't know why she seems to 'let' the other child do it. 

We've been told it is a personal space thing, but aged under 2, I don't know that the fully comprehend the concept. Personal space doesn't exist at home that's for sure!

l feel like we are going to be treading a fine line. I don't want her to be a bully, but she shouldn't have to be a victim. I want her to know that it is okay to stand up for herself and what she believes in. I don't want her to feel bullied or suppressed.

I am at a loss as to where to go from here. Do we just ride it out? Or what? 

Today sees my regular link up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

Returning to work

Wednesday afternoon and Wednesday night my heart was racing, I was shaky and I felt sick. I also wanted to cry.

All of this because on Thursday I was back to work after 18 months away looking after our beautiful Darling Daughter (DD).

I barely slept Wednesday night. 

Thursday morning came and I didn't want to not do the daycare drop off so hubby and I both took DD to daycare. She had no idea what was going on except that Mummy was wearing "nice" clothes.

My heart was STILL racing and I still felt sick. I didn't so much feel like crying but running away and hiding.

Why was I so worried?

I'll admit it. I'm shallow. I was worried no one would talk to me. That no one would like me. I can't help but wonder if this was exacerbated by my PND.

I rocked up only 15 minutes early. Before DD I would be there at least half an hour early to have a coffee and a chat. No time for that yesterday.

Admittedly I got my coffee. Then when I sat down with the lovely lady doing my return to work training, I felt at ease. Things made sense. I had set guidelines I had to follow to help people. 

I forgot about the teasing and ribbing from a few people. I'd forgotten how much I missed them. One of the guys can't believe I do my own footy tips. Maybe because I'm not just beating him but I'm on the top of the ladder. For now. We've still got a fair way to go.

I missed hearing people on the other end of the phone wanting me (or my colleagues) fix their problem whatever it may be. 

Then came the dreaded phone call from daycare. DD had some suss nappies. Could we please pick her up? So I rang hubby as he had the car with our carseat (our second carseat is waiting for us at our local Target to be picked up). He took a few hours off work. Then he text me to say daycare wanted us to keep her home today to be on the safe side. I only work 2 days a week. Today should have been my second day back. But here I am blogging away. While DD sleeps peacefully. We're thinking it's her teeth. She's certainly not off her food, bottles or water. And her top molars are cutting. Ewwww. 

But I'm glad I went back. I'm happy I took the extra 6 months. Yes it was hard financially but we did it. I'm also super happy that I've gone back now, and not any later. I can't wait to finish my return to work training next week and really get back in the swing of things. 

Daycare Blues

Darling Daughter (DD) had her first day at daycare last week. When Darling Husband (DH) and I dropped her off, she got straight down on the floor and started playing with all the toys. We stayed for about 10 minutes and when we left, we picked her up for a kiss and cuddle and she wanted to squirm out of our arms.

I'm lucky that we are in a position where she only goes one day a week and we can ease her into the hours. So the plan was to only leave her there for four hours.

We dropped her off at 8 and I have to admit that I really struggled to leave. I was all brave until I got to the car and I started getting teary. DH just doesn't seem to understand why I felt so bad though. 

So I drove home in the pouring rain and parked in my driveway and sobbed. The weather suited my mood perfectly. Why was it so hard? Why did I feel like I was leaving her? Why did my heart feel like it had shattered?

I came inside for about five minutes and decided that it was too hard to hang around all her toys. So what did I do? I went to the shops. I got birthday presents sorted, I had a coffee (which was free due to a voucher), and just wandered aimlessly. Then I decided to hit the other shopping centre for a while. 

Finally at midday, I went back to pick her up. Only to find that she was asleep. Deflated, I came home, again. Wrapped the presents I bought, went to the toilet in peace and then drove the long way to the daycare centre. At 1pm she was awake and had just done her very first painting. 

The smile I got when I walked into the room cleared all the rain clouds and I felt whole again, with my little girl with me. 

I'm still emotional over it and we've only got 2 more days before she goes again.

Please tell me it gets easier?!

Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT (I Blog On Tuesday)