I'm still me

Recently, I've been reading that if you're a mum and you do certain things like baking or cooking, there's a good chance you lost a piece of yourself when your child came along. 

You know what? I think that's a load of bull. 

Prior to Miss 4's arrival, I always used to cook and bake anyway. DH and I used to enjoy a range of my cooking experiments. One night, I made a Japanese feast from scratch. Another time, we had curry chicken parcels. Then there was the vegetable quiche.

Baking wasn't so high on my list of things to do. We're not huge sweet eaters normally. Since Miss 4 came along, I find we are getting into the kitchen together a whole lot more. 

She loves to make sweet things, but we always limit it to one sweet thing a week. And there's normally 4 days a week she doesn't eat things like that. 

I feel like the time we spend choosing what the weekly treat is, then making it (and taste testing it!) is important to OUR relationship. It is important to our values and the way WE want to raise her. 

But you know what? It's not for everyone. I'll admit there are times where I will be thinking, "Why did I get myself into this?" when the flour and sugar is spread over the bench. But the smiles and giggles from Miss 4 make it worthwhile for me.

Today, I moved even further outside of my traditional comfort zone. Whilst trying to *ahem* relieve myself, Miss 4 marched in with a Cooking with Peppa (or something like that) magazine and declared it had yummy stuff in it. And "May please can you make me this?"

A cheese and chive soufflé. Great. Eeeeek. Slight modification came about as she doesn't like chives, but I made it. And it was pretty nice. A bit rich, needed a salad to cut through the cheese and egg, but I felt accomplished. Successful even.

Had Miss 4 not used her manners and looked so cute, I never would have made it. Sure I'd have said how awesome it looked in the magazine or I may never have even seen it.

And I'm super proud of how it turned out. My picture was taken just as it was starting to settle, but geez it puffed up amazingly!

So to all my readers. Whether you bake or not, it doesn't matter. Do what you want. Chase your dreams. Don't let anyone tell you that you've lost part of yourself, or that you're not "rad". Be yourself. Love yourself (as much as you can - I understand some of us can't always do that). Enjoy your friends and family. 

Today, I've linked up with the ever wonderful Jess at Essentially Jess for IBOT. Happy Tuesday peeps.

Standing up for yourself

I don't know what else to do. The last couple of weeks, we've had to sign a few incident reports at daycare. By we, I mean DH, because he has been doing the pickup in the afternoon. 

In each case, DD has been on the receiving end of something, whether it be a bite, scratch or similar. But I'm not understanding why she is putting up with this sort of thing.

By no means is she a complete angel. However, I have seen her give as good as she gets When she is pushed around. You see, on Saturday might we had a function where DD interacted with a girl of a similar age. This time girl was quite rough and tumble due to having two older brothers. When DD was playing with an old jukebox, this other child shoved her out of the way and DD pushed her back. Not seeing the other child do the first shove, I gently reminded DD to play nice. My mother in law pointed out what was happening, and five minutes later, the other child comes up to DD out of the blue and does it again, with DD responding the same.

So I don't understand why she isn't standing her ground at daycare. Don't get me wrong, I am happy she isn't the one instigating the events, but I just don't know why she seems to 'let' the other child do it. 

We've been told it is a personal space thing, but aged under 2, I don't know that the fully comprehend the concept. Personal space doesn't exist at home that's for sure!

l feel like we are going to be treading a fine line. I don't want her to be a bully, but she shouldn't have to be a victim. I want her to know that it is okay to stand up for herself and what she believes in. I don't want her to feel bullied or suppressed.

I am at a loss as to where to go from here. Do we just ride it out? Or what? 

Today sees my regular link up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

The Not So Domestic Goddess

I have a problem.

I will admit it freely.

I hate housework.

I really, honestly despise the stuff. 

But I still do it, even though it is a struggle. Although, with DD, it is becoming increasing difficult because she hates the vacuum cleaner when it is turned on, wants to ride it when it's turned off and crawls under the ironing board and wobbles it while I'm trying to iron.

And now, facing a return to work for a third full day per week, it's only going to get harder. 

I know I could be doing some more housework now, but DD is napping, and I've been a good wifey and ironed hubby some work shirts for later in the week, when he goes back. He's got some time off for uni and only needs to wear casual stuff so there's no great drama there.

I purposely bought items that don't require ironing for myself. Wash 'em and hang 'em and they are fine!

But no matter what household chores I do, cyclone DD comes along and straight after the cleaning rag has been put away, or the vacuum cleaner has been unplugged, she will destroy a snack, or a magazine. 

This kid shreds paper worse than a cat!

I'd prefer to spend my time watching cartoons with her, reading a book with her, or even running around the backyard like maniacs. 

If it didn't cost so much, I'd hire a cleaning lady.

Yep. 

I'm that lazy and not so domestic!

But I'm still a goddess. Don't you forget it.

Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT. Happy Tuesday everyone!

I'm a LAP'er

I'm a LAP'er. And I'm proud of it, and everyone else who is one. 

What is a LAP'er? 

It is a mum, or a dad, who is a member of L'il Aussie Prems forum.

When Darling Daughter (DD) was born, I wondered who the hell I was going to talk to, ask questions, relate to. None of my friends were parents to prems, or so I thought. There's no support group in my town, nowhere to turn to relate to premmie issues. You might remember from a previous post, that we weren't allowed to go to any of the mum's groups (The In Between).

So I turned to everyone's good friend, Google. I looked up things about premmies, from local support groups to worldwide groups, and then I found L'il Aussie Prems. 

From the first moment I joined their forum, everyone was so welcoming. Over the last 18 months, I have seen LAP grow from just a support group, to a registered charity helping families of premmie babies get through it all. I have to admit, when things are going great, I don't post on the forum very much, because I feel a bit bad for the parents who are having a bad time.

Through LAP, our family has celebrated two Wear Green For Premmies days in 2012 and 2013 by wearing green and our wristbrands and one World Prematurity Day by lighting our special purple candle at the same time as many other families.

There's also a wealth of knowledge for parents who might be in the midst of bringing a premmie into the world. Their Information Page has links to different articles which can help explain what might happen next.

I've found myself returning to the forums lately, mainly because it's been almost 18 months since DD joined us and also because I'm facing the daunting, yet exciting prospect of returning to work. 

I know that if I ever have a question about if DD is doing what she "should", the parents on L'il Aussie Prems will have the answer, and on the slight off chance they don't, I'll still get support.

Please stop by and have a look around the website. What you will find about these wonderful, awesome little fighters might surprise you. And if you are a parent of a prem, feel free to join us in the message boards. 

Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

** All images have been used with permission from L'il Aussie Prems :)

Hey, you. It's me

Hey, you.

It's me.

I'm sorry we lost contact. I tried so hard when I left the industry to track down a way to contact you, but I just couldn't find you.

I met you ten years ago, well, just over ten years ago now. I was a naive 18 year old, you were the one who would end up training me in the ways of insurance. And for that, I thank you. 

Not only that, but you were, and will always remain, a loved friend. 

We worked together for almost four years before you left the company, and I can honestly say, I'm glad you got out when you did. Things went pear shaped not long after you left.

You stayed in the industry, so with us both being part of such a "small" group, it was easy to still talk to you, email you. 

I remember that my mum, you and your sister all conspired to decorate the office for my 18th. You would have had to have been out of bed early that day, and I know for a fact, you weren't a morning person.

Some of my funniest experiences happened with you, like the time I told you I thought the dog catcher was "a bit of alright" and you kindly informed me he was your nephew. I wanted the world to open up and swallow me at that moment. I can only imagine the shade of red I went.

You're the reason for my Anne Bishop obsession, lending me your copies of the Dark Jewels trilogy. That reminds me, it's March. I should go to the bookshop - she's due to release another one!

There's more stashed, trust me!

You also encouraged me to start collecting the DVD sets of Stargate SG-1 and Dark Angel. I took it further and included Farscape, Battlestar Galactica 2003 and Firefly/Serenity.

I even have the SG-1 books!

We saw each other in September last year, in Coles. It was the first time I had seen you in a number of years. I won't lie, your appearance shocked me, but I KNEW it was you from your voice and your cheerfulness when you said, "Hey, Miss Sarah!"

That's something else you started. It's not the same when someone else calls me that.

The last time I saw you was the day bub was discharged from hospital after being crook. We didn't get to talk, but I saw it in your eyes. I'm so glad you got that fleeting look of my darling little girl. You would love her, and I know she would love you.

When I heard the news of your passing, at first, I wasn't sad. I had been expecting the news for some time. But as it sunk in, that I'd never hear your voice again, never share a joke, never show bub off to you, it hurt. You're the first friend I've lost in over 10 years. 

We farewelled you last week. You wanted us all to wear purple. So I did. And because I knew you'd laugh, I wore purple undies for you too!

I'm still sad but gee I'm laughing now, especially knowing that you've written down stories about me and your family (including your nephew) have read them. I'm also cringing but in a good way.

Where ever you are now, I know you won't make it easy on anyone. You make sure they are all up to your standards!!

Love and sci-fi forever,
Miss Sarah




Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

A slip of the tongue

Today it's IBOT day with Essentially Jess

I know it's being talked about EVERYWHERE, but I'm jumping onto this too.

So, the Duchess of Cambridge had a slip of the tongue and said she would take a teddy bear (as a gift) for her d.......

The giver of the gift assumes she was going to say daughter. 

But what if her and the Duke are having a darling baby? Or dear son?

Why is everyone presuming it's a little girl?

Don't get me wrong, with the new succession laws I'm really hoping they do have a little girl first so that there IS going to be another Queen in the not to distant future, without her father/brother having to abdicate.

It got me thinking though. Maybe the Duchess has baby brain? I honestly don't blame her. Darling Husband (DH) and I had names (girl definite, boy tentative) and we were keeping them a secret. We wanted it all to be a suprise for everyone. 

So imagine my absolute dismay at myself with speaking with a colleague at work and I spill the names! I tried to cover, but I'm pretty sure she didn't believe me. 

But it doesn't always happen to pregnant women. It can happen to children (spilling secrets) or an excited adult accidentally ruining a surprise. Like a birthday present. 

What's your biggest, "Oh crap, I shouldn't have said anything moment?"

Only, but not lonely

It's IBOT day today so I'm linking up with the lovely Essentially Jess

Thanks to everyone who voted in my poll. Looks like you want to know what it was like for me growing up as an only child.

I'm an only child, but not by choice. I'll leave the rest of it at that.

I'm the child my parents were told they'd never have. 

Growing up, it never occurred to me that everyone else had brothers and sisters.

Kids would tell me I was strange or missing out.

In my early years of preschool, my best friend was a boy named Matt. I was going to marry him. His father was the MC at my wedding to Darling Husband (DH) because he is a close family friend of both families. I used to hang out with Matt and his younger brother. His parents are the only parents of friends who I refer to by their first names. Even now.

Then there was the trusty trio in grades one and two. Ezza, Mezza, and Sezza. Sadly, we all drifted apart, but through Facebook have reconnected. These ladies should know who they are. When spending time with Ezza, she had two younger, twin sisters. Mezza had an older sister and a younger sister. See? Plenty of people to hang out and play with.

Different friends over the years. But always with siblings. I felt like an extension of those siblings in many cases. Did I get lonely at home? I sure as hell don't remember feeling that way. Did I ever wish for brothers or sisters? I won't lie, I sure did. Was I spoilt? Probably. But I think I've turned out ok.

As a child, if I wasn't asking to go and play at someone's house, I was reading. Something which I still love to do today. Being an only child meant that there was only ever MY lot of book club to pay for, meaning I could order more. I let friends borrow books. I still had friends for sleep overs. 

I'm extremely blessed to have my best friend, Tegan, who is my sister of the heart. We don't need blood to connect us. We are two peas in a pod, an extension of each other. We can have an entire conversation with nothing but a few eyebrow wiggles, or on a busy day, a few little noises or even just one word each. Without Tegan, I don't know who I would be anymore. I am also lucky now to have a sister-in-law. 

But please don't look at an only child with pity. It may be through choice or otherwise. We don't miss out on things, we aren't monsters or freaks. 

Our parents just managed to make the "perfect" child on the first go! (sorry people with siblings!)

Daycare Blues

Darling Daughter (DD) had her first day at daycare last week. When Darling Husband (DH) and I dropped her off, she got straight down on the floor and started playing with all the toys. We stayed for about 10 minutes and when we left, we picked her up for a kiss and cuddle and she wanted to squirm out of our arms.

I'm lucky that we are in a position where she only goes one day a week and we can ease her into the hours. So the plan was to only leave her there for four hours.

We dropped her off at 8 and I have to admit that I really struggled to leave. I was all brave until I got to the car and I started getting teary. DH just doesn't seem to understand why I felt so bad though. 

So I drove home in the pouring rain and parked in my driveway and sobbed. The weather suited my mood perfectly. Why was it so hard? Why did I feel like I was leaving her? Why did my heart feel like it had shattered?

I came inside for about five minutes and decided that it was too hard to hang around all her toys. So what did I do? I went to the shops. I got birthday presents sorted, I had a coffee (which was free due to a voucher), and just wandered aimlessly. Then I decided to hit the other shopping centre for a while. 

Finally at midday, I went back to pick her up. Only to find that she was asleep. Deflated, I came home, again. Wrapped the presents I bought, went to the toilet in peace and then drove the long way to the daycare centre. At 1pm she was awake and had just done her very first painting. 

The smile I got when I walked into the room cleared all the rain clouds and I felt whole again, with my little girl with me. 

I'm still emotional over it and we've only got 2 more days before she goes again.

Please tell me it gets easier?!

Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT (I Blog On Tuesday)

Fitness is fun?

Before you read this post, I have to tell you that you must consult your health care professional prior to starting any fitness or weight loss routine.


Your chest is pounding and tight, you can feel your heart thumping in your ears, and are waiting for it to make your eardrum explode. You are fighting for breath, covered in sweat.

I think I've just described a bit of a heart attack?

But no. 

It's fitness! 

It's the feeling I force upon myself at least twice a week during Body Step. My limbs are also bright red, and I end up with carpet burn, every time I go. 

But it's fun, right? 

Well, yes and no. 

If you think sweating, heaving bosoms are attractive, you have another thing coming. 

But I love pushing myself. I have recently invested in some (very) expensive shoes and insoles, for my dodgy arches. And also a knee support. I'm an ex-club netballer.

So Sunday I trundled off to class and found myself pushing harder than ever before. 

Was it because it was the last time I'd get to do some of the tracks? Maybe - the new track started 21/1/13.

Was it because the class was packed and I didn't want to seem like a wimp? Nope, there were people coping worse than me, and then there was the instructor who joined the class.

It was because of my knee support! I honestly didn't know how bad my knee was and how much I'd backed off because of a little bit of pain in it. I'm always going to have pain in it, but with the support, I can go a little longer before feeling bad.

But then, Sunday afternoon, I could barely move. I don't do burpees. Waaaay too much strain on aforementioned dodgy knees. So I do the substitute instead - squats.

My quads hate me.

You do realise it is entirely possible for parts of your own body to be so angry with you, they make you want to cry? 

So yes, fitness can be fun. But I make it something a little bit of both. Pain and fun. Guess I'm a bit of a masochist. Maybe. Maybe not. But I like it when it hurts afterwards. It means I've done something. 

But don't do what I do. Check with your healthcare professional. 

While I'm on the topic of fitness, a friend of mine is doing the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation (12wbt). Her dedication is astounding. So I'd like to give her a shout out. You see, she's blogging about her journey too. And it can be brutally frank and truly inspiring. Head on over to Camilla's 12wbt Journey to read her blog and also "like" her on Facebook for all the updates here: Camilla's 12wbt Journey on Facebook.

I'm also linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT (I Blog On Tuesday).

Christmas Carols

'Tis the season, lovely people.

Yep, that's right, there are Christmas Carols galore. In fact, right now, I'm watching Celtic Thunder: Christmas. 

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for carols. I love them. From the traditional like Good King Wenceslas to the different like Mele Kalikimaka. That's Hawaiian for Merry Christmas.

I wish I could listen to carols all year. Actually, DH thinks the reason DD came so early was that she was sick of me playing the carols in the car ALL the time. After 22 days of them, she'd had enough. 


If you had to pick say, 5 Christmas Carols that you could listen to whenever you wanted, what would they be? My 5 would be:

Good King Wenceslas

Mele Kalikimaka




Santa Baby (the Leann Rimes version)




Jingle Bell Rock




Fairytale of New York (Ronan Keating version)

So, what are your top 5??

Today I'm linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

My Christmas List

In true Christmas Spirit, along with Essentially Jess and Always Josefa I'm doing my Christmas List.

How many items do it get? No, I'm just kidding. There's always a few things that are standard, so here goes:

1. Good health for all of my family. I want my mum's arm and neck to be better.
2. A money tree. Greedy, I know. But if I had a money tree with a never ending supply of money, I'd share it with my family, friends and charities. I wouldn't be so greedy as to keep it all myself, but I just want us to be comfortable without worrying.
3. More creativity. I'm sure you're all getting bored with my posts. I'm not that exciting or interesting.
4. For my family and friends to get their wishes for the rest of their lives - I know what some people want and it's nothing I can help with, so I really, really want them to get it.
5. An RDO for my husband. Having him home that one extra day a week would be wonderful.
6. An open ticket (including travel) to any and all country music concerts in Australia forever. I want to see Big and Rich, Billy Ray Cyrus and all the artists at CMC Rocks the Hunter. I've been lucky enough to see international artists Brooks and Dunn, Tim McGraw, Joe Nichols, Dwight Yoakam and Gary Allan to name a few. I want more. It's an addiction!

I'd share the love, but all my favourite and followed blogs have already been tagged I think.

Tell me in the comments what you want and who you would like to see give their Christmas list.